I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
