I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
