Got a toothbrush?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
