Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish i was in the wii world.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
