its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
