thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
