when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
