No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
