and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
