The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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