Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
