No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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