i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
