I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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