Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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