I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we're making bets on your personal life
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
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You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza