I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.