i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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