hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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