I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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