Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
