Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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