I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
