Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
