You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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