I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
