There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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