It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
