You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
