Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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