the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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