I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
