I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
