He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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