rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
