I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
