i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize