I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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