okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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