I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
