I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
