): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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