God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
