That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
