never play flip cup with pint glasses
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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