I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
