Your tits are I can't wait for
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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