Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
