i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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