Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
