Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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