real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
