I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
