please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
