maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize