I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
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Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Two words: nipple clamps
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