You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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