He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
