It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
