Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize