saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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