I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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